Kindisch aber Wahr

Ich habe gerade Langeweile. Mein Handy musste ich abgeben, blöde Mutter. Im Fernsehen läuft nichts und mein Buch will ich nicht lesen, sonst hab ich es fast fertig. Ich weiß nur, dass ich gleich Chemie machen werde aber davor gucke ich meine Serie weiter.

Und ich habe es nie wirklich jemanden gesagt, außer Luana, meiner Freundin aber ich gucke noch Kinderserien bzw eine ganz bestimmte. Drachenzähmen leicht gemacht. Ich weiß, für eine 15 Jährige ist es ganz schön Kindisch und albern sowas zu gucken aber ich habe eine Lebhafte Fantasie. Ich habe auch die beiden Filme geguckt, in einem war ich sogar im Kino mit meiner Freundin Luana. Wenigstens habe ich eine Freundin, die die gleichen Interessen  hat wie ich. Mein Freund weiß nichts davon und das ist auch gut so. Er würde sich bestimmt schämen für sowas, deshalb sage ich es auch niemanden, das ist mein kleines Geheimnis. Aber wenn ich es gucke, fühle ich mich wie ein kleines Kind. Keine Gewalt, kein Blut, kein Krieg. So will ich die Dinge sehen. Ich habe nämlich vor Horror Filmen angst, brutale angst. Sowas zu sehen macht diese schöne Blumenwiese kaputt die ich in meiner Seele aufgebaut habe von Kinderserien. Es ist nämlich ein nach holen meiner Kindheit. Gewalt zu sehen hatte ich viel zu oft getan, deshalb habe ich Dinge geguckt, die friedlich und voller Fantasie sind. Ich habe auch eine Geschichte geschrieben, Max habe ich verboten sie zu lesen, denn da bin ich richtig Kind und lasse meiner Fantasie freien lauf.  Von außen kann man denken, sie ist vernünftig und ein normaler Teenie aber in wahrheit bin ich ein kleines und verspieltes Kind. Aber die kennt niemand und soll auch niemand kennen. Alle sind aus diesem alter raus, außer ich. Es ist komisch und ich schäme mich auch selber dafür aber so bin ich halt und so mag ich mich, als ein kleines Kind. Klar kann ich auch erwachsen wirken und wichtige Entscheidungen treffen aber immer wenn ich alleine bin mach ich das was niemand erwartet, meine Serie gucken.

3.199 Gedanken zu „Kindisch aber Wahr

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